first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
His nipple licking is glorious
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