Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
