Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
