:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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