Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
