what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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