she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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