new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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