is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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