we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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