Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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