You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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