yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
