I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
