Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
