I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
