I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize