like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
