if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
time to smoke my breakfast
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
