Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
