I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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