You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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