Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
