I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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