I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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