I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
