Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
