are you still at the devil's house?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
