I smell stomach acid.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Houston, we have a blender
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am mentally ready for anal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
