I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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