Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
