PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
