we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
