im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
