Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
