Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
