all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
