Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
