mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
