I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Operation Purity has been aborted
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
