Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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