so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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