next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
