I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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