i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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