My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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