would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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