Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
