hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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