Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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