I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
