Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
