She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
