well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
