I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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