YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
