No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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