He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
