You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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