i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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