According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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