She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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