bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
