Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
