He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
