Do vagina's smell?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
