brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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