Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
