I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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