dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
