You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
