i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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