There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
