i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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