Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
